Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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