All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
