Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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