Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
