we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
