if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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