So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
