Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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