Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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