I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
