You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
