i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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