using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize