dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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