Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
