dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
