The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
