i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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