awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
