So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
