Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
