I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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