he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
