do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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