Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize