mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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