Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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