this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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