your room smells of hookers.
And success
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize