I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
