Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
