Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
3 2 1 whiskey
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
