I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
