cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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