i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
