I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize