Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize