her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
