woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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