Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
