champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
