Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
