I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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