Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize