Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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