I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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