i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize