she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
