im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
