You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
