Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
