Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
