you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm just crazy horny about you
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
