Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
