Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize