I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
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i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
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It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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