Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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