we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
