when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
