remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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