Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
