Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
