the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
