she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
