Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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