he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
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You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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