Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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