I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
